Tuesday, April 26, 2005

:-(

Hello, did anyone know giving up is really hard? I try to give up on everything especially love and yet it undoubtably fails. I come back to a thing out of my control even simple things like doing bead work which I don't like that much. I wish I could give up but since I can't I will give up trying to give up which may also be out of my control, at least subconciounce control. Oh well did I mention that I hate love beacause it hates me? I did now, poetry might come in handy I haven't written a poem in over a month beacause of lack of things to write about... They are mostly sad, I wish I could write GOOD happy poetry, but poems never come to me that are happy which probablly makes people think I am a very unhappy person which only true a half of the time. Farewell my friends.

Friday, April 22, 2005

I am back from the dead

Wow I haven't blogged for oogles of months, I am greatly troubled so decided to blog again. Old feelings coming back in o so many places. 2 old crushes new again, I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO!!!! Well the most confusing of the two is this boy I haven't seen in3 years that I asked out 3 years ago came back from nowhere land and has been sorta flirting with me, see my mom babysits his brother and he came in 1 time when he was forced to and now he keep coming in and smiling at me and trying to talk to me. How low can he get, I mean he hasn't seen me in 3 years, and the last time I saw him he rejected me. The confusing part is I seem to still like him. My pride is to high and I will try to brain wash him from my mind.
The second is almost as confusing but I choose not to speak of it inline incase he visits the site.

Why is life so confusing!!!

Anyways I am going to Chicago tommorrow, and am going to stop writing now. bye!